Many people seek happiness through external sources like objects, relationships, and achievements. However, true happiness lies within, and understanding its technical definition is key to cultivating it consistently. This article explores the nature of happiness and provides practical steps to achieve it, irrespective of your circumstances.
The Illusion of Object-Based Happiness
Why External Objects Fail to Deliver Lasting Happiness
We often believe that specific things will make us happy: a delicious burger, a loving relationship, a successful career. While these experiences can bring temporary joy, their effect is fleeting. If happiness truly resided in these objects, we would experience the same level of joy every time we engage with them. But that's not the case. Our favorite show might not always be enjoyable, or a long-awaited date might not meet expectations.
Comparison: The Thief of Joy
The saying, "Comparison is the thief of joy," highlights how external factors can steal our happiness. We might be content with a new possession until we learn that someone else has something better. This intrusion of external information disrupts our initial happiness. The problem is not just comparison but any external thought that shatters our mental state.
The Core of Happiness: One-Pointedness of Mind
The Longing for Peace of Mind
We seek activities like binge-watching shows, playing video games, or even using drugs because they offer a temporary escape from our thoughts and worries. We crave a peace of mind where the external world fades away.
Mindfulness and Mindlessness
Mindfulness, often misunderstood, is not about filling your mind but emptying it. The goal is to achieve a state of mindlessness, where you become content and happy by freeing yourself from constant mental chatter. Meditation is a good practice to achieve this state.
Defining Happiness: Absorption and Focus
The nature of happiness lies in a one-pointedness of mind. When we are completely absorbed in an activity, like dancing while drunk or enjoying an orgasm, we are not thinking about anything else. This complete focus is the essence of happiness.
The Problem: Dependence on External Objects
We often rely on external objects to create this one-pointedness, leading to a weakened mind that cannot focus independently. Boredom arises when our minds are scattered, restless, and unable to find something to occupy them.
Overcoming Obstacles to Happiness
The Destructive Power of Lingering Thoughts
The moment an external thought enters our mind, our one-pointedness is shattered. A seemingly insignificant thought can destroy our happiness. Our minds are wandering and distracted.
The Difference Between Enjoyment and Suffering
The difference between enjoying a task and suffering through it lies in our mental state. When we are absorbed in our work, we enter a state of flow. But when our minds are wandering, the work becomes boring and unbearable.
The Role of Mental Illness
Mental illnesses, like depression, anxiety, and OCD, share a common thread: numerous and chaotic thoughts. OCD reveals itself in compulsions meant to shut off invasive thoughts. Many use compulsive behaviors to make negative thoughts go away.
Practical Steps to Cultivate Happiness
Meditation: Training the Mind for Focus
Meditation is a valuable tool for training the mind to achieve a one-pointed state. By focusing on your breath, you can learn to quiet the mental chatter and cultivate inner peace.
Tolerating Boredom: Embracing the Present Moment
Learning to tolerate boredom is crucial for developing inner happiness. Grounding practices, like spending time outdoors with your bare feet on the earth, can help you become comfortable with the absence of external stimulation. Don't engage in other stimulations, embrace the boredom.
Addressing Lingering Thoughts: Taking Action
Lingering thoughts about unfulfilled desires and goals can be significant barriers to happiness. To eliminate these thoughts, you have two options: achieve complete detachment through intense spiritual practice or take action to address the underlying issues. If you consistently think about something you "should" do, do it!
The Importance of Peace of Mind
Pursuing your goals is not about achieving happiness through accomplishment but about eliminating lingering thoughts that disrupt your peace of mind. By addressing these thoughts, you allow yourself to be more present and focused, ultimately leading to greater happiness.
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