Anxious or Just a Little Worried?
I don't consider myself an anxious mom. I'm actually quite laid-back. But viewers might wonder, as my videos often seem to convey a sense of anxiety. Some have even left comments saying that anxious moms are scary. I'm not truly anxious; I may just think a bit too much. After all, I moved from a familiar environment where I'd lived for a long time to a new country and city. The cultural environment was completely unfamiliar, which naturally led to some minor concerns and a bit of discomfort with the new surroundings. However, I believe that as I adapt to these changes over time, everything will fall into place.
The Improvement of the Child
In the previous video, we mainly talked about reading emails with the child. This actually aligns with our own observations. The child has been performing much better in Malaysia than before, so her self-improvement and progress are quite evident. It's just that her ability to read official documents like emails is a bit lacking, perhaps because she's never done it before and I used to read them for her. So, it's not anxiety but a small concern. This is a great discovery because we often unconsciously do many things for our children, a habit we may have developed in China. Here, we realize that the child is growing up, becoming more independent, and we can't treat her like a little baby anymore.
Moderate Pursuit
Some viewers pointed out that I might be a bit greedy. In the field of philosophy, moderate pursuit is a driving force for personal growth. We can use this concept as a goal. Without moderate pursuit, we might experience things like losing interest quickly, lacking direction, and being inefficient. For our family, both adults and children should have a goal of moderate pursuit at this stage. A Chinese neighbor told us that he has two jobs. One is as an operator in Singapore, where he works for three days and then gets two days off in Johor Bahru. But during these two days off, he works as a Grab driver. When we asked him why he was so hard - working, he said it was because there were five mouths to feed in his family - three children, his wife, and himself. He could make ends meet with just one job, but he wanted to give his family a better life, so he was willing to work harder and earn more. This is what I think is moderate pursuit.
New Life Goals
Since we are now in a more flexible situation after leaving our jobs in China, we need to establish new life goals. The child is studying in an international school in Malaysia and has her own goals and life. We can't just focus on her all the time; we should also have our own goals. In a previous video, I mentioned a Malaysian mom who took the SPM exam to encourage her child, which shows that actions speak louder than words. So, we should start by doing our own things well.
Embracing Change and Learning
I've started learning about ChatGPT, which is a big change for me. After coming to Malaysia, I realized that learning is very important. Before coming here, I heard many people say that it's a place where you can "lie flat," but I found that it's really not possible to do so. We are leading a very fulfilling life here. We've picked up our English again and are exposed to a diverse culture. We have new habits, like going grocery shopping regularly, and we also go to the gym and swim every day. The gym and swimming pool are great facilities, and when so many people are using them, it would feel a bit of a waste if we didn't.
The Importance of Planning
Planning is essential for our family. However, planning is something I'm not very good at. My previous job was quite random, dealing with various unexpected situations daily. I was more accustomed to handling such tasks rather than following a rigid plan. So, planning didn't hold much significance in my previous job because things often changed quickly, and I had to adapt. I'm good at dealing with emergencies and unexpected events, being flexible and able to think on my feet. But my wife is more of a planner. For example, when looking for a house, she would contact several real estate agents, while I would just give the task to two or three agents and wait leisurely for the results. As a result, she was able to view many more houses during the same period, and there is a clear difference in our work efficiency.
Combining Planning and Flexibility
I think both planning and flexibility have their advantages and disadvantages. Planning gives our life structure and purpose, while flexibility allows us to adapt to unexpected situations. We should try to combine the two to make our lives run more smoothly. As a sports fan, I can draw some examples from the world of sports. A negative example is the Brazilian football star Ronaldinho. Due to his irregular lifestyle and bad habits, his peak period ended very quickly, and his performance declined drastically before he was 30. On the other hand, there is the Malaysian badminton legend Lee Chong Wei. In a movie about him, "Lee Chong Wei: The Road to Gold," his coach told him, "The world is not short of geniuses, but of geniuses who can persevere." In an interview, Lee Chong Wei said that during his more than 20 - year career, he got up at 5 am every day, left home at 6 am, came back for lunch at 12 pm, and then trained in the afternoon. His life was basically about eating, sleeping, and playing badminton. This kind of self-discipline, combined with his hard work, allowed him to stay at the top of the world men's singles rankings for 349 weeks, the longest record in badminton history. Lee Chong Wei also had his own idols, tennis players Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal, who inspired him to never give up in his career. The last match between Lee Chong Wei and Lin Dan was considered a great game, and Lee Chong Wei was defined as a great badminton player.
Setting Goals with the Help of "Atomic Habits"
We need to set goals for ourselves. There is a book called "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. The book emphasizes the cumulative effect of habits, stating that small changes can lead to significant long-term impacts. It uses the 1% improvement theory, which means that if you improve by 1% every day, you will achieve a 37 - fold increase in a year. This book is regarded as a practical and scientific guide to habit - building, providing both theoretical foundations and specific, actionable methods to help people make lasting changes in their lives.
Methods from "Atomic Habits"
- Define Your Goals: Clearly identify the habit you want to build or change, such as daily exercise, getting up early to read, etc.
- Create a Plan: Use the habit - stacking method to attach new habits to existing daily routines. For example, drink a glass of water immediately after waking up, take a walk after lunch, and read for 5 minutes after dinner.
- Optimize Your Environment: Adjust your environment to make good habits easier to perform and bad habits more difficult. For instance, put your phone in another room to reduce distractions and create dedicated areas for studying, reading, or exercising.
- Start Small: Use the 2-minute rule (it can be adjusted to 3 or 5 minutes). Begin with small, simple steps and gradually increase the intensity. For reading, instead of setting a goal of an hour or two, start with 5 or 10 minutes.
- Track Your Progress: Keep a diary, use an app, or a simple habit - tracking form to record your progress and make regular adjustments.
- Seek Support: Share your goals with friends, family, or colleagues and ask for their support and supervision.
We hope you will leave comments for us. We think we can make good use of the concept of "greed" as a motivation for moderate pursuit.
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