The Fading Spark: Reassessing a Lifelong Love of Video Games
At 36, I feel practically ancient in the internet age. While I don't necessarily feel old, I've realized my perspective on life, habits, and daily routines has drastically shifted. This change has led me to question my relationship with my lifelong passion: video games.
From Passion to Chore: The Shift in Perspective
Video games have been my primary hobby for as long as I can remember. However, lately, playing feels less like a fun escape and more like a chore. I spend more time browsing wishlists than actually playing, turning my hobby into a collection obsession rather than an active enjoyment. This begs the question: why am I losing the excitement to actually play?
The Time Crunch: Responsibilities vs. Leisure
In my youth, time was limitless. I could spend entire days lost in virtual worlds without a second thought. Responsibilities were minimal. Now, as a husband and father with a full-time job and household duties, free time is a rare and precious commodity. An hour, if I'm lucky, is all I get. This scarcity changes everything.
The Paradox of Choice: Too Much, Too Little Time
Back then, I had limited games but unlimited time. Now, I have the financial freedom to buy any game I want but lack the time to play them. Flash sales on Steam and PlayStation tempt me with discounted titles, creating an ever-growing backlog. While I love my current life, I can't deny that things have changed.
Time Management and the Fun Factor
Time used to be an irrelevant factor when choosing a game. Now, I immediately check "how long to beat" before committing. A 40+ hour game requires serious consideration. The limited time leads to rushed gaming sessions, often ending with me scrolling endlessly, unable to commit to a game, and ultimately doing something else entirely. However, having one or two hours is not that bad, and is enough to play something, just not enough to play everything.
Re-evaluating Hobbies and Interests
I've always had diverse interests, from music and film to various game genres. However, balancing all these hobbies, along with new goals like learning Japanese and starting a YouTube channel, creates overwhelming pressure. Focusing on one hobby leads to guilt about neglecting the others.
The Grip of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)
I also struggle with video game FOMO. Seeing rave reviews for new releases triggers a strong urge to play them, even if I haven't finished my current game. I often drop a game midway to chase the "shiny new thing," only to never return to the original.
Analysis Paralysis: The Overwhelming Backlog
My growing backlog contributes to "analysis paralysis," where excessive analysis prevents me from choosing a game, leading to inaction. I often find myself replaying familiar favorites for a stress-free experience instead of venturing into the unknown.
The Influence of Gaming Media
I consume a significant amount of gaming news through YouTube and other online platforms. Seeing content creators dedicate their time to games makes me feel guilty for not investing the same effort. This influence highlights the fact that I don't need to be chasing AAA games.
Marketing and Time Commitment
Companies understandably want players to stay engaged with their games for extended periods. However, the focus on long, commitment-heavy games can be off-putting. The indie scene offers exciting, innovative experiences but deciding where to sink my time still proves to be difficult. My reliance on social media and gaming news outlets shapes my perception of upcoming releases, turning them into my new "gaming magazines."
The Underlying Question: Does It Really Matter?
I am still interested and excited about new releases, but I'm not as enthusiastic about playing them. So why am I not getting excited to actually play these games? This leads to a crucial question: Does any of this really matter? While my brain says yes, my logical side knows it doesn't.
Accepting Change and Adjusting Perspective
The problem lies within myself. In a strange way, this struggle represents clinging to my youth. I need to accept that I'm not the person I was 10 or 20 years ago, and my hobbies need to reflect that change.
Practical Solutions and a New Approach
I've already started making adjustments, like lowering difficulty settings when needed. I'm fortunate to not be a completionist or trophy hunter, allowing me to move on after the credits roll. I'm also focusing on narrowing my focus on purchasing games, considering story and innovation over simply chasing the latest releases. Learning to overcome FOMO and enjoy the games I'm currently playing is crucial.
A Changed Love, Not a Lost One
While all of this might seem obvious to some, it wasn't to me. My love for video games hasn't disappeared; it's simply evolved. There will be times for long RPGs, short indie titles, or even periods of no gaming at all. The key is to release the pressure and embrace the joy of playing without self-criticism.
Looking Ahead: Sharing the Passion with a New Generation
The years spent playing games have created lasting memories, and those will never fade. I look forward to sharing this passion with my children, experiencing their favorite games and introducing them to the ones that shaped my own gaming journey. I can't wait for that day to come.