Introduction
I've been an up主 for two years. Just a few days ago, I received a small gold medal, becoming a million-follower up主. To those around me, it might seem like a standard, cliché story. A graduate from Tsinghua University's Yao Class, I got noticed after creating a hit, and then I started regularly sharing science popularization content on math, physics, and computer science. My original and in-depth content was well-received, and I finally reached 1 million fans in two years. But in fact, this is a revenge that no one knew about. For the past 20 years, there has been a force trying to extinguish me, and I've been desperately trying to escape. At the 1 million - fan mark, I can finally announce that I've survived and achieved this revenge. In the future, I will still try my best to save more students from it. This is the story I want to share with you in 50 minutes today. It's not just about my feelings of becoming a million-follower up主, but also about how I think independently and become myself.
The Pressure of Conventional Education
Many people don't understand why, as a Tsinghua student, I should focus on my studies and research instead of doing science popularization. Even today, many people, like my parents, keep advising me to concentrate on my academic work and not waste time on what they consider unimportant things. But they don't realize that their words, starting from when I was six years old and started school, have been like a heavy and suffocating net, restricting my actions and thoughts, and pulling me towards the so-called "right path."
During my student days, it was all about exams. Every time I tried to break free, I would be cut by the sharp edges. Eventually, these invisible marks and heavy shackles bound me, changing me completely. It was these painful, suffocating, and confused experiences that made me determined to create this account and convey the following words to every young person.
Problems in School Subjects
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Mathematics: In high school math, there are some derivative problems that can be solved easily with L'Hopital's rule or the limit method, but we are not allowed to use them. Instead, we have to construct strange functions, take derivatives several times, and prove various monotonicities.
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Physics: In high school physics, there are problems where a charged particle can gain energy infinitely, like a perpetual motion machine. The reason is that the problem settings violate the boundary conditions of the electromagnetic field, thus subverting Maxwell's equations and the law of conservation of energy. Many electromagnetic induction problems have similar issues, where the given values in the questions do not match the results calculated by strict differential equations.
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Biology and Chemistry: In biology, there is no definite answer to whether an enzyme is a protein or not, and we often have to consider the context of the whole question. In chemistry, many hydrolysis equilibrium problems assume that there are only the chemical processes mentioned in the textbook, ignoring other possible hydrolysis processes that can cause significant changes in ion concentrations.
When students question these problems, teachers often say that they are controversial and not tested in the college entrance examination, or simply tell students to do as they say and that they will be responsible for the lost marks. This kind of experience made me feel extremely frustrated. An exam should be rigorous, but the standard answers that determine our scores are so hasty and narrow-minded, ignoring the truth of the real world and the latest research.
The Limitations of the Education System
The education and examination system often sets up strict boundaries in the name of the syllabus. Inside this airtight building, the truth is not important. The textbook is the authority and the only truth. Students can only think according to a certain template and solve problems with the methods in the "toolbox," and the final score is the only goal.
Even in seemingly open-ended questions, the questioners have pre-set expectations and will ruthlessly suppress any valuable answers that do not meet their requirements. I know that some people will say that educational resources are limited and that exams must have a set of absolute standards. I admit that there is some rationality in these statements, but if a student is keenly aware of these problems and wants to broaden their horizons and pursue answers, they will often encounter the same situation as I did - being forced to repeatedly practice the same old questions.
For example, in primary school, we keep doing multiplication and addition problems. In junior and senior high school, it's the same. We spend a lot of time and energy on these repetitive exercises, trying to improve the last few points, while ignoring the opportunity to learn more valuable and profound knowledge. This kind of dissatisfaction and anger has accompanied me throughout my student life. I always feel that these so-called sacred exams do not really test knowledge and thinking, but rather a kind of "radio gymnastics" with fixed movements and rigid rhythms.
My Experience with Unconventional Thinking
I once encountered a situation in a junior high school exam where I was asked to calculate the area of a shaded region. Due to the teacher's carelessness in coloring, the shaded region required calculating a definite integral. I managed to derive the result and discovered the simple form of Riemann integral on my own, but I only got a cross. Because everyone thought the question was out of the syllabus and must be wrong, they all answered according to the original version. The teacher also thought that such an out-of-syllabus question couldn't be tested, so they graded based on the common answer, and I lost my marks.
This shows that our learning at that time was like this. Outside the fence is a forbidden area, and inside the building, everything is done for convenience. Teachers and tutoring institutions often teach students to memorize various secondary conclusions and models, turning problem-solving into a process of looking up an operation manual. For example, they tell students that a certain question belongs to one of the 15 classic models and can be solved quickly using a specific method. But in fact, this kind of learning method only involves memorizing a large lookup table without any meaningful knowledge or wisdom.
The Birth of My Up主 Career
I had the idea of becoming a science popularization up主 as early as my senior high school summer vacation. I read Matrix 67's blog from beginning to end and was deeply inspired. I also created a WeChat public account and wrote some science popularization articles, but they didn't get much attention. Later, I realized that the text form was not suitable for science popularization, so I gave up.
In 2023, while participating in the school's doctoral summer practice, I accidentally saw the video "Stickman vs. Math" on Bilibili. I was deeply shocked by it and noticed a comment saying that someone needed a math up主 to analyze the video frame by frame. At that moment, I felt like I had been struck by lightning, and I decided to restart my revenge plan - to become a science popularization up主.
Thanks to this video, I quickly passed the most difficult start-up period. Usually, it takes a long time and a lot of effort for an account to reach 10,000 or 100,000 fans, but it only took me three days to reach 10,000 fans and about half a month to get the 100,000 - fan medal. This was extremely lucky, and I am very grateful to my fans for their support.
The Challenges and Insights of Being an Up主
However, being too lucky also has its drawbacks. I set my expectations too high at the beginning. I thought that since my first few videos got millions of views and I gained 100,000 fans, my subsequent videos would also be very popular. But the reality was that my third video, which I spent a lot of time and effort on, only got 100,000 views.
After making dozens of videos in the past two years, I have deeply realized that the relationship between effort and return is often not proportional. For example, a video that our team of six people spent a month polishing only got 200,000 views, even though I think it has high-quality content and profound knowledge. I also found that whenever I make a video that I like very much, with new content that is not tested in the exam and has a slightly higher threshold than the high school level, the playback volume is usually locked at around 200,000.
I was very frustrated at first, but later I found that even some well-known up主s with a large number of fans also face the same situation. The reason is that there are only a limited number of viewers on the Chinese Internet who can understand and appreciate this level of content. In contrast, 3Blue1Brown's videos on YouTube have a much higher basic playback volume.
I also noticed that some of my videos that are related to popular topics or have a lower threshold can get a lot of views quickly. For example, a video about the discovery of a new Mersenne prime number only took me 4.5 hours to make but quickly exceeded 1 million views. This shows that the Internet market is very unpredictable, and people are more likely to be interested in things they are already familiar with or think they should be interested in.
The Dilemma of Science Popularization
As a science popularization up主, I face a dilemma. On the one hand, I want to maintain the high-quality and in-depth content that I like, but this kind of content has a relatively small audience and is difficult to attract a large number of views. On the other hand, if I want to chase traffic and make more popular videos, I may have to sacrifice the quality and depth of the content.
The formation of the overall audience's foundation and taste has deep social factors and is difficult to change in a short time. For pure knowledge - interested people, they are always in the minority, and their learning on the platform does not bring much commercial value to the platform. As a free creator, I mainly rely on occasional business orders, but compared with other million - follower bloggers, my monetization ability is not strong.
For example, in the field of mathematics, there are not many business opportunities that require mathematical knowledge. And some AI clients prefer to cooperate with lifestyle up主s because their videos have a higher playback volume and wider coverage. So, science popularization of pure knowledge and interest is essentially a public welfare in the business world and on all commercial Internet platforms.
The Importance of Passion
Despite the difficulties, I still坚持做 science popularization because of my passion. Passion is the key to my survival and success in this system. I was born in a small fourth-tier city in Anhui, and my family's economic conditions were not good. But my mother, a teacher, paid great attention to my education and taught me Olympic math.
When I was in the fourth grade, I participated in a programming class taught by a teacher who graduated from the University of Science and Technology of China. At that time, many parents sent their children to the class just to follow the trend, thinking that programming could improve their children's intelligence and grades. But most of the students were just playing games, and the number of students gradually decreased. Only I persisted because I really liked programming.
This love for programming accompanied me throughout my student life and helped me win provincial first prizes in the information technology competition in junior high school and senior high school, as well as provincial first prizes in physics and mathematics. In my senior year of high school, when AlphaGo defeated Lee Sedol, I was very interested in the technology behind it and self-studied neural networks. Then, I firmly chose the computer major and transferred to the Yao Class in my freshman year.
These experiences show that as long as we find something we like and are good at, we should pursue it with all our might. Passion is the driving force behind our progress and success.
How to Find Your Passion
Many people may ask how to find their passion. In fact, passion is often something that we are interested in and feel excited about. It may be something that is considered "sideways" or "unproductive" by parents, teachers, and society, but as long as it is beneficial to ourselves and others, we should try our best to do it well.
For example, if you like playing games, you can try to learn the principles of game design, improve your gaming skills, and even consider making a career out of it. But you need to ask yourself whether you really understand the game, whether you can spend a long time playing it without getting tired, and whether you can achieve a high level in the game. If your answer is yes, then playing games may be your passion.
However, it should be noted that finding your passion does not mean that you will definitely succeed. Success also requires many other factors, such as opportunity, luck, and hard work. But as long as you have passion, you will have the motivation and perseverance to overcome difficulties and pursue your goals.
Breaking Free from Social Discipline
In addition to finding your passion, we also need to break free from social discipline. Social discipline often makes us afraid to deviate from the "right path" and do what we really want to do. But in fact, the so-called "right path" is not necessarily the only way to success and happiness.
We should have the courage to pursue our own dreams and interests, even if they are different from what others expect. We should not be afraid of failure or criticism, but should learn from our experiences and grow stronger. Only in this way can we truly become ourselves and live a meaningful life.
My Vision for the Future
As an up主, I hope that my videos can help more people understand and love science, and inspire them to think independently and pursue their dreams. I also hope that more people can join the ranks of science popularization and create more high-quality content.
In the future, I will continue to work hard to improve the quality and quantity of my videos, and provide more valuable knowledge and inspiration to my fans. I believe that as long as we work together, we can make science popularization more popular and meaningful, and contribute to the development of science and technology.
Conclusion
My journey as an up主 is not only a story of personal growth and success but also a story of revenge and passion. Through my videos, I want to share my experiences and insights with everyone, and hope to inspire more people to think independently and pursue their dreams. I believe that as long as we have passion and courage, we can break free from the shackles of social discipline and create a better future for ourselves.
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