Seven months ago, we embarked on a one-way journey from London to Singapore. Reflecting on this experience, one word comes to mind: regret. However, understanding this requires revisiting the pivotal night of our arrival.
A New Beginning
Arriving in Singapore under the cover of darkness felt different. It was as though I was leaving my worries behind. As the Singapore sun rose, I felt renewed. Like a wilted flower, I turned towards the light, eager to embrace this new chapter.
The Initial Plan: Rest and Happiness
As a natural planner, I arrived in Singapore with a simple objective: to find happiness and rest. During the initial weeks, we achieved this, relishing in our new environment and the local culture. If you visit Singapore, be sure to try all the local delicacies.
Embracing the Singaporean Culture
We were quickly immersed in the vibrant Singaporean culture. We explored the sunny skies, indulged in shaved ice desserts, appreciated local designs, and were moved by incredible talent.
Challenges and Unexpected Turns
Despite the initial excitement, the planned rest year in Singapore presented unexpected challenges. The decision to choose Singapore, a bustling city, for a year of rest, was questioned by friends. Although my husband wanted to experience working in Asia, my love for city life also played a major role.
The Reality of Change
I adore the city's lights and energy and enjoy observing the future from atop skyscrapers that I have carefully planned. However, the changes we anticipated didn't always bring the joy we expected. The initial source of anxiety stemmed from leaving our first home and community in the Balestier area.
The Toll of Moving
The constant relocation also proved physically and mentally draining. We moved into a short-term shop house. The move itself was smooth, but we were exhausted. Over the past two and a half years, we had moved from Wimbledon to East London, then to the English Countryside, before finally arriving in Singapore, first to Balestier and then to the shop house. Five moves in two and a half years took a toll.
The Apartment Search
Following our move, we began the arduous process of searching for a long-term apartment. The rental market proved incredibly expensive. Countless apartments were either unsuitable or quickly taken off the market. Refusing to settle, we paused our search to enjoy the present.
Finding Contentment
Slowing down allowed life to fall into place. While not perfect, I began to feel content. By accepting life as it was, joy began to flow through me.
The December Rains
In December, the rain arrived and persisted for weeks. The constant downpour was a reminder to slow down. Nature gave us permission to pause, breathe, and appreciate the world around us. The December rains fostered a sense of happiness.
Lessons Learned
2022 brought rapid changes, both planned and unplanned. A key lesson was understanding that reality often deviates from expectations.
The Illusion of Control
A quote by Mahmoud Darwish resonated with me: "We went too far in our thinking and forgot that destinies are written." We have limited control over our lives, similar to our control over the skies.
Letting Go of Perfection
While planning is important, plans don't always materialize. I am learning to release the idealized vision of a perfect life.
Understanding the Roots of Planning
Over-planning stems from past anxieties and struggles. It's a method to feel safe and in control, attempting to prevent future pain.
Strength in the Face of Disappointment
Despite unmet hopes and dreams, my husband and I have grown through this experience. Moving to a new continent, facing change, disappointment, and uncertainty revealed our resilience. Life's challenges ultimately teach us that we are stronger than we believe.
No Regrets
Despite using the word "regret" initially, I can now confidently say that I have absolutely no regrets about our move to Singapore.
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