Understanding Adult ADHD: A Personal Perspective
Many people are discussing adult ADHD recently, and I want to share my experiences. I believe I can speak to this topic because I identify with many of the symptoms.
Challenges with Focus and Task Initiation
Procrastination and Difficulty Starting Tasks
Like many with ADHD, I often procrastinate, especially when it comes to tasks like writing assignments. I consistently put things off until the last minute. I tried to start assignments earlier, but I struggled to get into the right headspace. Even when I did start, I was easily distracted.
Preemptive Anxiety and Energy Management
When I had an energy-intensive task, I would try to clear my schedule far in advance. Even on the day of the task, I would rest or even sleep for hours beforehand. I needed to be fully charged and ready to go.
Fast-Paced Communication and Interrupting Others
My speech is typically fast-paced, and I tend to be impatient. When excited, I often interrupt others. While I know this isn't polite, I feel a compulsive need to express my thoughts immediately.
Feelings of Underachievement and the Impact of ADHD
There were times when I secretly felt like a failure. I knew I was smart and capable, but I felt like I wasn't living up to my potential. If you relate to these challenges, then this information about adult ADHD might be helpful.
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is often associated with children, but it also affects adults. The DSM-5 classifies ADHD symptoms into three main categories: Inattention, Impulsivity, and Hyperactivity.
Inattention: Struggles with Focus and Concentration
Difficulties Initiating Tasks and Resulting Anxiety
Inattention manifests as difficulty initiating tasks. Even when I knew I needed to do something, like write a paper, I faced psychological resistance. The anxiety surrounding whether I could complete it well made it even harder to start.
Hyperfocus as a Coping Mechanism
Eventually, I would complete the task in a burst of intense focus, called "hyperfocus," right before the deadline.
Anticipatory Anxiety and the Need for Preparation
This difficulty initiating tasks leads to anticipatory anxiety. When I knew I had a specific deadline, I would plan extensively weeks in advance. I'd try to clear my schedule and ensure I had enough energy. I needed significant buffer time and preparation.
Distractibility and Difficulty Concentrating
Another aspect of inattention is distractibility. Whether writing a paper or doing homework as a child, I was easily sidetracked by my phone, the internet, or other things. Even listening to conversations could be challenging, especially if the topic wasn't engaging. My attention would wander, and I'd miss key points. It's like trying to hold water in a sieve; information slips away quickly. I have to actively concentrate to understand what someone is saying, which can be exhausting and make me appear intense.
Impulsivity: Acting on Impulse and Emotional Volatility
Interrupting Others and Emotional Excitement
Impulsivity can manifest as emotional outbursts and interrupting others. When excited about a topic, I feel compelled to speak immediately, regardless of whether it's my turn. This behavior varies depending on my mood and the topic at hand. The need to speak is often not about needing to be heard, but rather a compulsion. If I don't act on the impulse immediately, I'll often forget what I wanted to say.
Impulsive Decision-Making and Lack of Planning
Impulsivity also impacts decision-making. I might make impulsive purchases without considering my budget or plans. Important decisions, even those I've pondered for a long time, are often finalized impulsively in the heat of the moment. This also happened in relationships, where I could fall head-over-heels quickly and then suddenly lose interest.
Hyperactivity: Restlessness and the Need for Movement
Constant Motion and Inability to Relax
Hyperactivity is the most commonly recognized symptom of ADHD. It feels like my engine is always running at high speed, constantly in motion. Even when my hands are free, I fidget with my fingers or nails. Even when lying down and reading a book, I still need to have a pen in my hand to play with. When I get a paper receipt when I buy something I have to fold it and poke it and manipulate it. I can't stand to wear a ring because I constantly fiddle with it.
Intolerance of Boredom and the Need for Stimulation
I am unable to endure boredom. I find TV shows too long and slow, always wanting to fast forward. I watch videos at a minimum of two times the speed, and lectures or podcasts at four to eight times the speed.
Anxiety and Sensory Overload
Anxiety is a significant issue. I have acrophobia and often experience panic attacks when feeling trapped. I cannot be a passenger in a car. I need to drive. I also experience anticipatory anxiety for things like doctor's appointments, haircuts, or dental appointments, to the point that I will cancel them.
Physical Manifestations of Anxiety
I have a form of tremor called Task-specific Tremor, which is when my hands shake when performing certain tasks such as brushing my teeth. Sometimes I experience dyspraxia which is a motor skills disorder where a specific hand action seems impossible to perform. For example writing out a certain letter. This causes great anxiety.
Seeking Professional Help and Understanding ADHD
If you identify with these symptoms, I recommend seeking professional help from a psychologist instead of trying to self-diagnose using online tests. ADHD can significantly impact learning, work productivity, relationships, and mental health, potentially leading to depression and anxiety.
The Importance of Accurate Self-Assessment
A common issue among adults with ADHD is low self-esteem. They may not understand that their struggles stem from a neurological condition, leading them to blame themselves for their perceived failures.
High-Functioning ADHD and Compensation Strategies
Some adults with ADHD appear successful and well-adjusted due to high intelligence. They developed compensatory strategies. I use those as well. I intentionally create an environment with two monitors so I am distracted on one and therefore concentrating on the other. I know that I have difficulty starting, so I think about how I am going to write a paper weeks in advance, and then I write garbage on the paper just to get started.
Act: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
My understanding of how my own brain works allows me to utilize what I've learned. In psychology there's a core concept known as Act: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. You try to solve a problem and if you cant solve it, accept it and use the energy elsewhere. I deal with a lot of psychological issues in a similar way.
Positive Psychotherapy and Leveraging Strengths
Positive psychotherapy emphasizes leveraging strengths and adapting to challenges.
The Importance of Self-Awareness and Adaptation
A tiger shouldn't try to be an eagle, and vice versa. Each has its strengths. As humans we have the ability to change what is not working. This is the way that I view my ADHD.
Reframing Challenges and Turning Weaknesses into Strengths
I have learned to reframe some of my limitations as strengths. For example, by creating a work environment where I switch up my position, I have avoided many of the back and neck problems that plague other workers. Likewise, because I am unable to watch a film in a straight line I can read a book with one word on each page and I can skip to exactly what I am looking for in the table of contents.
Two Main Principles
The main two principles: play to your strengths and be comfortable. To do that you need to understand yourself and be able to properly recognize yourself. I hope you found this discussion of adult ADHD interesting and maybe even helpful. Let me know what you think in the comments. I'll see you next time. Bye!
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