The Allure of Independence: Why I Can't Go Back to a Development Job
Four years ago, I left a stable software development job to pursue self-employment. While the journey hasn't been easy, returning to a traditional job is no longer an option for me. It feels like returning to a childhood home after significant personal change – things simply wouldn't be the same.
Turning Down a Lucrative Offer
Two years after quitting, I even accepted a job offer with a salary exceeding £100,000. However, as I reviewed the contract, I realized that accepting it would mean abandoning my aspirations of making a living independently. It was a pivotal moment of deciding between security and my long term goals.
The Temptation of the "Make Money Online" Gurus
The internet is full of people making money outside of traditional employment. This realization, and a belief that I could also succeed, prompted me to explore this world. I wanted to test my capabilities.
The Challenges of Self-Motivation
One of the biggest hurdles of self-employment is the lack of external motivation. In a job, team dynamics and expectations provide accountability. On your own, you must cultivate that drive internally. It can be a struggle, but overcoming this challenge is crucial.
The Liberation of Self-Reliance
Despite the difficulties, there's a profound sense of freedom in controlling your own destiny. This extends beyond flexible hours or choosing projects; it's about being entirely responsible for your success. You have to handle all aspects of the work, from marketing to sales, without a corporate support structure.
The Significance of the First Online Dollar
Earning your first dollar online, regardless of the source (course sales, book royalties, freelance work, or YouTube revenue), is incredibly rewarding. It validates the process of combining your skills to generate income independently.
The Income Gap and the Internal Struggle
Despite earning money through various online ventures, my income hasn't yet matched my previous development salary. This creates an internal conflict between my past and present selves. It can be tempting to revert to the familiar and comfortable, and the income it brings.
It's More Than Just Cognitive Dissonance
My refusal to return to development work isn't about justifying my initial decision. It's not necessarily better than making money online, but I've committed to this path. I've already made progress and to quit now would feel like giving up prematurely.
The Importance of Action Over Analysis
Much of the past four years has been spent in procrastination. I realized the importance of taking decisive action rather than overanalyzing every potential outcome. You can't accurately predict what will succeed without trying it.
The Future Vision and the Fear of Regret
While returning to development, even remotely, would solve immediate problems, I can't do it. If you have a vision for your future, abandoning that path would feel like giving up on yourself and diminishing your self-esteem.
Final Thoughts: Don't Ignore the Calling
If you're happy and fulfilled in your job, that's fantastic. But if you feel a pull towards something else, don't ignore it. Time is limited, and you might be spending your best years on work that doesn't truly resonate with you. The alternative might be a period of discomfort as you try to build your own path. It won't be easy, but the reward of self-reliance is worth the effort. Take the chance, and see what you are capable of.