The Questionable Nature of “Normal” Life
Have you ever considered that what we consider normal life might be gradually harming our health? The 9-to-5 work routine, the rote education system, and the never-ending pursuit of productivity—these are all lifestyle elements we take for granted. But are they truly beneficial? In The Myth of Normal, Canadian physician Gabor Maté presents a bold idea: the widely accepted notion of normal in modern society is not only unhealthy but could be the root cause of our physical and mental imbalances.
The Rise of Modern Ailments
In today's society, issues like anxiety, depression, self-improvement diseases, addiction, and a sense of burden are on the rise year after year. This is no coincidence. Despite working harder and having constantly improving medical technology, we feel increasingly empty, and our bodies and minds seem to be getting weaker. Maté argues that this is not an individual failure but a cultural one. The social structure itself is pushing people towards illness and isolation, yet we keep trying to compensate with self-discipline, creating a vicious cycle.
Gabor Maté's Background and Work
Gabor Maté is a family doctor with extensive experience. He has worked in the Vancouver slums of Canada for many years, dealing with numerous addiction patients and those with chronic diseases. This has given him a wealth of clinical observations and a deep understanding of human nature. His previous works, When the Body Says No and In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, have received significant international attention. The Myth of Normal is a collaboration with his son Daniel Maté and summarizes his decades of research and clinical experience.
Re - examining the Definition of Normal
The core message of the book is that we must re-evaluate the definition of normal. In the current cultural structure, competition, suppression, and self-sacrifice are seen as success indicators. However, these values often cause people to distance themselves from their true selves, suppress their inner emotions and needs, and ultimately lead to chronic illness.
Trauma: A Deeper Look
What is Trauma?
Trauma is not just a single terrible event that happens to us; it's what it leaves behind in our hearts. Many people associate trauma with major events like abuse or war. But in fact, the experiences we ignore, endure, or rationalize in daily life can also leave a mark. Trauma is an internal breakage that occurs when our emotions, needs, or real feelings are not accepted.
The Prevalence of Trauma
In contemporary society, emotional suppression and relationship breakdown are so common that trauma has become a cultural phenomenon. From school to family, from the workplace to social media, we are constantly learning to ignore our feelings, pretend everything is okay, and not trouble others. This pressure is not a choice but a survival strategy, but it comes at the cost of a gradually empty heart.
The Impact of Trauma on the Body
The Mind-Body Connection
The author believes that many diseases are not sudden psychological breakdowns but the cumulative result of internal emotions and life pressure. Disease is a normal response of the body to an abnormal environment. In the modern medical system, the mind and body are often separated, but this goes against the holistic way the human body functions. When we suppress emotions and ignore internal needs, these rejected emotions turn into chronic stress, which directly affects the normal functions of various body systems.
Specific Examples of the Impact
Emotions like anger and sadness, if suppressed for a long time, can lead to various physical problems, from gastrointestinal issues to autoimmune diseases. Clinical and research cases show that the immune system is highly sensitive to psychological stress. Long-term stress can increase the body's inflammatory response and even cause the immune system to attack its own tissues.
Criticism of the Western Medical System
The author criticizes the Western medical system for having fundamental blind spots in dealing with chronic diseases and mind-body integration. Doctors often focus on treating symptoms, prescribing medications, conducting examinations, and performing surgeries, but rarely ask about the patient's emotions or life stress. Traditional medicine, on the other hand, has long recognized the connection between the mind and body. The author suggests that if modern medicine can adopt a more comprehensive approach, it may be able to help people recover their health from the root.
The Illusion of “Normal” Cultural Habits
Many normal ways of life are actually the main causes of our illnesses. Overworking, isolation, and oppression are taken for granted and even seen as signs of maturity or success. We are taught to compete, prove ourselves, and meet expectations from a young age, losing touch with our inner selves. The author uses the metaphor of animals in a modern zoo to illustrate this. Just like zoo animals, modern people may have material resources but lack emotional connection and meaning.
Childhood Trauma and Its Consequences
The Root of Many Problems
Many physical and mental difficulties have their roots in childhood. During the critical stage of emotional development, children often face a conflict between attachment and their true selves. To maintain a good relationship with caregivers, children may suppress their real feelings, which is not a rational choice but a subconscious survival instinct.
Long-Term Effects
This early suppression can extend to all aspects of an adult's life. People may become overly compliant, always putting others' needs first, and losing touch with their true selves. Early experiences can also form a hidden belief that they are not good enough, driving them to pursue perfection and be overly sensitive to failure.
Addiction as a Coping Mechanism
The Nature of Addiction
Addiction is not just about drugs or alcohol. People can be addicted to work, shopping, social media, gambling, sex, or the pursuit of achievement. Any behavior that can temporarily numb pain, distract attention, or make us feel in control or relaxed can become an addiction. The focus should be on the motivation behind the behavior, which is often the struggle to deal with inner emptiness and anxiety.
Challenging the Traditional View
Society often views addiction as a moral failure or lack of self-discipline, but the author believes it is due to unhealed emotional trauma. When a person feels disconnected from themselves and has no safe support network, they will naturally seek ways to fill the void. The author also shares his own experience of being a workaholic as an example of how addiction can be masked by socially praised behaviors.
The Path to Healing
Four Concepts for Self-Return
The author proposes four concepts as a starting point for healing: sincerity (allowing oneself to feel real emotions), subjectivity (regaining the right to choose one's own life), anger (establishing boundaries and protecting one's rights), and acceptance (understanding and tolerating one's past). These concepts work together to help us rebuild a sense of self.
The Role of Connection and Creativity
Healing is not a solitary process. Interpersonal connections, whether with family, friends, or support groups, are crucial. They can provide understanding and support, helping us regain trust in life. Additionally, games and creativity can have unexpected therapeutic effects.
The Collective Hope for Change
Healing is not just an individual responsibility but a collective hope. When more people understand trauma and look at others with kindness, we can create a more inclusive cultural atmosphere. The book reminds us that health is not just about physical well-being but a deeper way of existence. By being honest, connected, and respecting our own rhythm, we can find freedom for ourselves and bring positive change to the world.
Time to Reflect
Now is the time to ask ourselves: are the ways of life we've always considered natural really good for us? Or are they just making us ignore our own needs?