Finding the True Meaning of Learning: From Obligation to Invitation
Have you ever heard the phrase, "We're spending so much money on this, you better take it seriously!"? Many people hear this while growing up, perhaps silently thinking, "I didn't ask you to spend the money." Today, we're discussing a psychologist, Xu Yingling, who shared how he discovered the true meaning of resistance to learning and eventually found joy in it at Harvard. The core question: Is education a rigid rule or an invitation to explore knowledge?
The Reluctant Student's Harvard Awakening
The author frankly admits that even after entering Harvard, he never truly enjoyed studying. He was a product of rote learning, employing various tactics to avoid it.
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Going for walks and hiding in the library to read novels.
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Saving lunch money to watch movies.
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Forging signatures on grade reports.
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Pretending to practice piano.
He even competed with his parents to secretly watch TV, quickly switching channels and using electric fans to cool down the TV to avoid detection. This elaborate avoidance strategy highlights how much effort he spent resisting learning, fueled by a desire for relaxation and a fear of disappointing his parents.
Unspoken Feelings and the Fear Factor
The author harbored unspoken feelings of resentment, thinking, "I didn't ask you to spend the money." This was coupled with a fear of parental disapproval. He cared deeply about their perception of him. If he didn't care, he wouldn't need to go to such lengths to deceive them. The key lies in the educational approach and its connection to the child's inner feelings. This pattern of avoidance, driven by fear, can persist into adulthood.
A Transformative Welcome at Harvard
Entering Harvard initially felt liberating, thinking, "Finally, I don't have to study for others." However, the turning point came during the opening ceremony. The Dean of the Education School likened the experience to an all-you-can-eat buffet. He encouraged students to "eat" as much as possible, explore the library, and relentlessly question professors. The sentiment was, "We're not afraid of your questions; knowledge belongs to everyone."
Education as an Invitation: A Shift in Perspective
This analogy resonated deeply with the author, bringing him to tears. He realized that learning could be enjoyable. The Dean's words acted as a key, unlocking the understanding that education could be an invitation, not a requirement. Seeing his classmates' passion for knowledge ignited a genuine desire to learn for himself.
Autonomy, Curiosity, and the Freedom to Explore
The crucial difference between his previous, prescribed learning experiences and his newfound motivation lay in autonomy, curiosity, and the freedom to explore.
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Learning shifted from external pressure to internal desire.
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The environment and mindset fostered powerful change.
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The enthusiasm of his peers served as a catalyst.
This concept of invitation offers valuable insights for personal learning and guiding others, whether children or team members. How can we create an environment where exploration is encouraged rather than mandated?
Igniting the Spark: A New Approach to Learning
The story of Xu Yingling reminds us that forcing learning is difficult. However, a genuine invitation can ignite a passion for knowledge. While parents often have good intentions, their methods require observation and flexibility. Learning's value extends beyond grades and study hours; it hinges on igniting the inner desire to learn. What small changes can we make to create a learning experience that resembles a free, exploratory, all-you-can-eat feast?