Finding Peace and Changing Destiny: A Journey of Self-Discovery
After reading "Don't Believe Everything You Think" on September 6th, I experienced a profound shift. Insomnia vanished, and I entered a state similar to "flow," remaining calm regardless of external circumstances. Even when faced with anger, I found myself able to empathize. Ultimately, I realized this state of peaceful flow is connected to the key to "changing destiny." This journey led me to explore Buddhist teachings, particularly the Surangama Sutra, seeking to understand and implement these insights. I want to share my experiences after reading the book and studying Buddhist scriptures.
The Core Concept: Thoughts as the Source of Suffering
The most important concept from the book, a crucial reminder I'd heard before but never truly understood, is that our suffering originates from our internal "thinking," not from external circumstances. The key to ending suffering lies in actively stopping internal thought processes, allowing ourselves to return to purely physiological sensations.
Physiological Sensations: The Foundation of Reality
Physiological sensations include experiences like feeling cold, hot, hungry, full, or pain. We should allow ourselves to simply hear when we hear and simply see when we see, without adding extraneous thoughts. When we actively stop thinking, feelings of pain and anxiety cease to exist.
The Speedometer Analogy: Slowing Down Internal Thought
A classic analogy is a car's speedometer. When our minds are overwhelmed with thoughts, it's like a speedometer exceeding 200 km/h. We must remind ourselves to slow down. This concept is similar to the Buddhist principle of "not receiving the second arrow."
Real-Life Application: An Evening with My Child
I will share a practical example from the past three weeks. After returning home exhausted from work around 8 PM, my child wanted to play. Normally, I would begrudgingly take them out, resentful and irritable, possibly even scolding them later. I felt burdened and questioned why they wanted to go out so late.
The "Magical Effect": Choosing Peace Over Resentment
However, the night after reading the book, something "magical" happened. I took my child out to ride bikes, feeling physically tired but mentally telling myself to "practice" the book's principles. I resolved not to generate any judgments or thoughts. I reminded myself that my thoughts were based on "past limited experiences." I considered that my European colleagues wouldn't find it strange to take their children out at 8 PM, as the sun might still be up.
Embracing Freedom and Beauty: A Peaceful Evening
By consciously choosing not to think, I avoided complaining. That night, despite my exhaustion, I felt a sense of freedom. I noticed the cool breeze and the beautiful moon. Before sleeping, I reminded myself that thinking is futile and only brings anxiety and pain, and subsequently, I slept incredibly well.
The Power of Conscious Control: Living in the Present
For the next few days, I mostly maintained this state. As long as I consciously controlled myself and avoided generating extraneous thoughts, eating was simply "eating," speaking was simply "speaking," working was simply "working," and sleeping was simply "sleeping." Without judgment and excessive thinking, suffering disappeared.
Unraveling the Paradox: Active Choice vs. Passive Suppression
My initial question was: Why is this so different? Previously, I had heard of "no-reaction practice," where we avoid reacting when criticized or facing adversity, controlling what we can. However, I always found this difficult because the key phrase "You must not react" felt passive and suppressing. It was as if I was fighting against my nature, like trying to hold down grass with a rock, inevitably leading to an explosion.
Reclaiming Agency: Choosing Not to Think
This time, using the book's method, I "actively" chose to reduce the frequency of my thoughts or even eliminate them altogether. The key phrase was, "I choose not to overthink." This felt like "following my true desire" – the desire not to overthink. This approach felt proactive and not oppressive.
Releasing the Gas Pedal: Actively Preventing Problems
Returning to the car analogy, we can choose not to accelerate instead of braking when already speeding. My first realization was that we can actively release the gas pedal.
Defining Happiness: Beyond Experience and Reflection
My second question was: How do we define this sense of happiness or joy? What type of happiness is it, and why haven't I felt it before? In discussing different types of happiness, the book The Geometry of Wealth offered helpful distinctions.
Two Kinds of Happiness: Experiential and Reflective
- Experiential Happiness: This is derived from experiences like eating good food, receiving compliments, or traveling. Its defining characteristic is a short "half-life." The joy fades once the experience ends, such as when the compliments stop or when one is sated.
- Reflective Happiness: This is derived from finding something meaningful and repeatedly investing in it over the long term. For example, sharing insights on how to apply Buddhist principles in daily life gives me deep satisfaction, leading me to cut sleep to edit videos. The "half-life" is longer.
A Third Kind of Happiness: Actively Taming Afflictions
The happiness I found through this book is a third kind, which we can call "actively taming" afflictions. This happiness stems from awakening the power within us to actively subdue our troubles. This power doesn't fluctuate with external conditions. I experience a state of peaceful flow. It is like I am actively regulating the flow of my thoughts, rather than fighting against them.
Anchoring in Emptiness: The Nature of Praise and Criticism
This state, in Buddhism, is defined as residing in "emptiness." Praise and criticism are "neutral" concepts. What distinguishes them is the tone and content of the words. We label them as praise or criticism, and then create a self-awareness and defend its dignity, adding to our troubles.
The Coffee Shop Analogy: Finding Shelter in the Storm
Metaphorically, it's like being in a warm coffee shop during a storm. We don't need to worry about the storm outside; we only need to enjoy our coffee and music.
A Glimpse of the Ultimate Happiness: Pure Land Buddhism
There's even a fourth type of happiness, harder to experience but imaginable: the joy of being reborn in the "Western Pure Land" described in the Amitabha Sutra and Infinite Life Sutra. Here are a few compelling aspects:
- No need to worry about daily necessities
- No fear of falling into the three lower realms (hell, hungry ghosts, animals)
- No fear of death after a short life, but rather an unlimited lifespan
The Pivotal Moment: Combining Flow with Compassionate Action
When we enter this state of "flow," unaffected by external factors, and encounter an opportunity for generosity or good deeds, it becomes a significant turning point in our lives. I used to question the connection between a stable, unwavering mind and acts of kindness.
The Story of the Poor Woman's Lamp: The Power of Intention
The Buddhist story of the "Poor Woman's Lamp" illustrates this connection. A poor woman offered her last coin to light a lamp for the Buddha, even though she would have nothing to eat. The light from her lamp could not be extinguished, even by arhats using their supernatural powers.
Expanding the Mind: The Four Steps to Compassionate Action
The power came from her intention: to eliminate her own greed and to help all beings escape poverty. Her self-awareness dissolved, replaced by a vow. By amplifying this vow to help all beings and remaining in this continuous state of right thought, her act was extraordinarily powerful. Thus, I began to look for opportunities to offer help. Here are 4 steps:
- Express gratitude for the opportunity to overcome stinginess and indifference.
- Stop thinking from a self-centered perspective; helping others is our inherent nature.
- Vow to dedicate the merits of the good deed to all beings, helping them escape suffering because "people share the same heart, and hearts share the same principle."
- Return to a stable state of "flow," focusing on cultivating inner peace and detaching from external events. Address self-awareness-based thoughts when they arise.