Overcoming Money Anxiety: A Journey to Freedom and Abundance
This article explores a personal journey of overcoming money anxiety. It outlines five key steps taken to shift from a state of fear and scarcity to one of freedom, abundance, and happiness. The author emphasizes that these steps are not meant to be blindly followed, but rather to offer insights into discovering love, abundance, and happiness.
1. Awareness: Recognizing the Root of Fear
The first step involves recognizing that money has been a source of fear, anxiety, and insecurity. This often stems from ingrained habits of being overly calculating and feeling a sense of scarcity. Recognizing this pattern is crucial for initiating change.
The Turning Point
A significant shift occurred after meeting a partner whose perspective on money was radically different. This individual demonstrated that not being overly concerned with money could lead to a more joyful life.
A Defining Moment
An instance at the airport, where the partner readily paid an excess baggage fee instead of enduring the stress of removing items, highlighted the importance of prioritizing time and peace of mind over small amounts of money. The author realized that time and happiness are more valuable than money.
Changing Perspective
Later experiences, such as receiving a parking ticket, further reinforced this lesson. While the author worked to maintain a positive attitude, a friend remained fixated on the loss, demonstrating the freedom that comes from not being controlled by money. The author realized that money issues that seem major at the time often fade into insignificance over time.
2. Distinguishing Values: Separating Parental and Personal Beliefs
This step involves distinguishing between money values inherited from parents and personal values. It was realized that the constant refrain of saving money and avoiding risks, while well-intentioned, led to a feeling of scarcity and being enslaved by money.
The Generational Divide
The author argues that parental values, shaped by times of scarcity and survival concerns, may not be applicable in a resource-rich modern environment. The anxiety over basic needs, such as food and shelter, is often unfounded in the present day.
Resisting Consumerism
Social media's influence on fueling consumerism was also acknowledged. Focusing on what is lacking rather than appreciating what is already possessed contributes to a sense of scarcity. This involves recognizing that basic needs are already met.
3. Breaking Free: Releasing Guilt and Unworthiness
This step involves breaking free from anxiety about money, as well as guilt towards parents and feelings of unworthiness.
Overcoming the "Narcissistic" Trap
Based on psychological insights, the author stresses the importance of not being self-centered. One way to implement this is to recognize that there is no need to meet every expectation of the people in your life.
Example 1: Career Choices
Leaving a stable job to pursue self-employment triggered conflicting emotions. While driven by a desire for freedom, the author also feared failure and judgment. It was realized that this fear stemmed from a narcissistic desire to control others' perceptions.
Example 2: Parental Expectations
The author also discusses feeling obligated to fulfill parental expectations, such as pursuing certain career paths or relationships. The author realized that she had the power to make her own decisions regardless of what other people may think or expect from her.
Accepting Responsibility
The author explains how allowing for disappointment and imperfection is necessary for personal growth. Even if decisions lead to financial setbacks, taking responsibility for them is empowering.
4. Redefining Wealth: Beyond Material Possessions
This step focuses on redefining wealth to encompass more than just material possessions.
Challenging Societal Norms
The author challenges the conventional image of wealth as involving luxury cars, mansions, and designer goods.
The True Meaning of Abundance
True abundance includes time, freedom, health, and happiness. It also involves detaching from rigid judgments about what constitutes a "good" life. The author found joy in simple things like connecting with friends, spending time with family, and experiencing nature.
Changing Relationships
The redefinition of wealth also improved relationships, especially with parents. Showing love through presence and quality time became more important than solely providing financial support.
5. Shifting Focus: Investing in Value Creation
The final step involves redirecting energy from worrying about money to activities that generate value and bring fulfillment.
From Worry to Action
After quitting their job, the author would focus on the lack of money, which lead to a lot of negative emotions and feelings. Instead, the author is now trying to focus on how to create a product that others will value.
Time is More Valuable Than Money
Previously spending excessive time seeking out bargains, the author now prioritizes time and energy. For example, purchasing a backpack from a well-known, trusted store rather than endlessly searching for the cheapest option. This shift allows for focusing on more meaningful experiences.