The Anxiety of Unstable Wealth: How the Rich Educate Their Children
Recent scandals involving the offspring of wealthy individuals have sparked discussions about wealth, privilege, and parenting. Why do some children of the rich engage in behaviors that draw negative attention? A new social science book, "The Anxiety of Unstable Wealth" by Rachel Sherman, offers insights into how wealthy parents navigate the complexities of raising children in an era of extreme wealth disparity.
Rachel Sherman's Research: Understanding the Rich
Rachel Sherman, a social studies professor at The New School, sought to understand the feelings of the wealthy in a society with a vast wealth gap and limited social mobility. How does being rich affect daily consumption and decisions regarding children's education? To answer this question, Sherman interviewed 50 New Yorkers with annual incomes ranging from $250,000 to $10 million. These parents, aged 30-40, came from various backgrounds including finance, law, art, academia, and stay-at-home Wall Street wives.
Moral Insecurity: The Burden of Wealth
Sherman's research revealed a surprising level of anxiety among the wealthy. Many questioned their own worthiness of their wealth, experiencing a "do I deserve it?" mindset that led to moral insecurity. While they may eventually grow accustomed to their affluence, this insecurity is very real, especially in middle age.
Transmitting Anxiety to Children: Complicated Consumption
This insecurity and anxiety often translate into how they raise their children. One couple featured in the book, a rich second-generation heir and his working-class wife, epitomize this struggle. Despite their immense wealth, they felt awkward about spending it freely, constantly limiting themselves. They remodeled a new, expensive home to make it feel less luxurious, and even agonized over buying an air conditioner for two years. Their self-imposed limitations were a way to define themselves as morally sound, fighting the perceived shame of being rich.
Hiding Wealth: Security and Moral Image
The desire to hide wealth is a common theme. It stems from both security concerns (fear of being targeted) and moral considerations. Mainstream discourse often associates wealth with moral flaws such as greed and superficiality. The idealized "good rich person" is often portrayed as self-made, hardworking, and modest, contrasting with the "bad rich person" deemed unworthy of their fortune.
Children's Education: Proving Decency
Since hiding wealth is not always possible, wealthy parents often focus on their children's education as a way to prove their own decency. A well-educated child is seen as evidence of good parenting and moral character. However, defining "good education" is complex. While some standards, such as encouraging reading, are universal, specific choices present challenges.
The Public vs. Private School Dilemma
The choice between public and private school creates a significant dilemma. Private and international schools offer more specialized courses and individualized attention, fostering personality and exploration. However, they can also create a "bubble," limiting exposure to diverse students and potentially fostering entitlement. One mother in Sherman's study lamented her child's newfound desire for expensive designer brands after attending private school.
Making Up for the "Bubble": Alternatives to Diversity
While the majority of the interviewed parents opted for private schools, they acknowledged the importance of diversity. They attempted to compensate by exposing their children to less privileged environments, such as visiting poorer friends, attending public events, and participating in charitable activities. However, the impact of these measures can be limited.
Unintended Consequences: The Normality of Luxury
Children's experiences shape their perceptions of normalcy. A family vacation in Europe, filled with high-end hotels and skiing, might lead a child to expect private air travel, as observed in the book. Asking the child to cherish these experiences can feel like asking them to perceive their normal life as abnormal, a difficult task for any child.
The Value of Work: Finding Enthusiasm
Another point of anxiety arises when children are old enough to work. How do wealthy parents instill a work ethic in children who may never need to earn a living? One parent expressed concern that his child might never experience the satisfaction of earning a paycheck. While seemingly "anti-Earthquake," this reflects a genuine appreciation for the value of work.
Hard Work as a Moral Imperative
Many wealthy parents, even those who inherited their wealth, emphasize the importance of hard work and contribution. They may encourage their children to take on menial jobs to learn respect for all types of labor and appreciate the value of money. However, this clashes with the desire to provide their children with the best opportunities, such as specialized training or enriching experiences, that may be more valuable than low-paying work.
Contradictory Messages: The Reality of Socialization
These contradictions highlight the complexity of parenting in wealth. While parents may espouse certain values, children are also shaped by their environment and interactions with other wealthy individuals. These interactions can reinforce a sense of privilege and entitlement, regardless of parental efforts to instill humility and gratitude.
Beyond Individual Choices: Systemic Inequality
Sherman's research suggests that the choices of wealthy parents are shaped by a larger social structure. Their anxieties reflect a desire to be perceived as "good rich people," thereby justifying their wealth. However, this focus on individual morality can distract from the systemic inequalities that create and perpetuate wealth disparities.
Shifting the Focus: Towards Systemic Change
Instead of focusing on whether individual wealthy people are "good" or "bad," Sherman argues that we should examine the systems that allow such vast wealth accumulation. How can we adjust these systems to ensure a more equitable distribution of wealth? While this perspective may be seen as aggressive or idealistic, it underscores the need to address the root causes of inequality.
Understanding the Worries of the Wealthy: A New Perspective
One of the book's strengths is its attempt to understand the perspective of the wealthy. It reveals the anxieties and complexities of raising children in a world of vast wealth disparities. By understanding these anxieties, we can gain a more nuanced understanding of the challenges of wealth and the need for systemic change.
{#