Having recently turned 35, I've been reflecting on the past 13 years since graduating college at 22. From Sichuan County to Chengdu, Shanghai, Canada, and now Japan, my journey has spanned various industries – PR, advertising, Internet, and self-media. Through these experiences, I've learned valuable lessons about both survival and life, which I want to share. My goal is to offer insights that might be helpful, or at least provide a contrasting perspective for those seeking a more stable path.
The First Five: Lessons in Survival
1. Prioritize Execution
In a big city, especially without resources or background, execution is paramount. It's the hardest skill to master in the workplace. Ordinary people should focus on developing their execution skills before anything else. When I arrived in Chengdu, I started with activity execution, focusing on completing tasks effectively, even the less desirable ones. Asking questions when unsure and diligently performing tasks are key to gaining appreciation from bosses, colleagues, and partners. High execution power has been instrumental in my promotions and personal life. It helped me pass the IELTS exam, navigate the DIY application process for studying in Canada, and eventually move to Japan.
2. Leverage Your Labor
National welfare theory states that income from free resources comes from labor, capital, or land. For ordinary people from small towns, using capital and land is often unrealistic. Labor is the most accessible path. Since time and energy are limited, improving your skills to increase the value of your labor per unit of time is crucial. Developing strong writing and planning skills was invaluable for me. Observing an engineer friend who enjoyed his work and became an expert highlighted the importance of finding your niche.
3. Embrace Calculated Risks
Once you've tackled the survival challenge in a field, consider taking calculated risks if you crave growth. My engineer friend's decision to leave a stable state-owned enterprise for entrepreneurship, while appearing simple in retrospect, was a significant leap. My own risky decisions, such as moving from Chengdu to Shanghai for an internship at a startup, embracing the trend of short videos, moving to Canada and eventually Japan, have shaped my path.
4. Gradual Progression of Adventure
Adventure requires a gradual approach. Don't overwhelm yourself with huge challenges early on. My ability to live abroad at 30 was built on years of experience navigating different environments within China. Lengthen your timeline and progressively increase the difficulty of your adventures.
5. Don't Fall for the Hype
Years ago, the Internet industry was awash in investment, with young entrepreneurs securing funding easily. The atmosphere of constant hype and the pursuit of "wealth freedom" and "changing the world" can be overwhelming. While ambition is positive, it's important to stay grounded. Don't treat yourself as merely a cog in a machine.
The Second Five: Lessons in Life
6. Acknowledge and Act on Your Feelings
As I emphasized in my last video, admit, respect, and respond to your feelings with action. You cannot lie to yourself. Your feelings are the compass of your life, even negative ones like anger. If someone wrongs you, it’s natural to want to retaliate. Listen to your feelings and act, either by defending yourself or accepting defeat. Don't dwell on regret or self-blame. Life is a cycle of feeling, acting, creating new feelings, and repeating. By aligning your actions with your feelings, you gain a deeper understanding of yourself. The earlier you start, the lower the price you'll pay. Don't endure situations that make you unhappy, whether it’s a job, relationships, or family expectations, because the longer you wait, the higher the cost.
7. Don't Fear Passion's Fleeting Nature
When you have a strong feeling about something, don’t hesitate to act on it. Passion is a valuable form of energy. Even if it’s a short-lived interest, don’t blame yourself. It's normal to try many things before finding what you truly love.
8. Prioritize Your Own Feelings
When you act according to your feelings, you may face criticism. People may accuse you of not considering their needs. These accusations often reflect the fact that you are not meeting their expectations. Focus on your own feelings first, and don't let others' words hinder you. Other people's expectations reflect their own needs.
9. Give Out of Love, Not Fear
Many life choices are driven by fear. For example, some people have children out of fear of being alone in old age. It's better to give out of love. Learn to love yourself first. When you are strong enough to love others, you will feel more fulfilled.
10. Choose Your Interpretation of Fate
Despite the reality and cruelty I've witnessed, I advocate for optimistic action. Everyone has the freedom to choose how they respond to their circumstances. As an orphan, I have reason to complain. However, doing so is unproductive. Interpret your past experiences in a way that empowers you. I prefer to see my challenges as opportunities for growth. Your past experiences don't define your present; your current actions shape your future. Send a signal to the universe through action, not just wishful thinking. The universe responds to action. By changing your actions, you change your thoughts and, consequently, your future.
Life doesn't have a standard answer. It's all a matter of interpretation. In this era of information overload, various standards vie for our attention. Be bold in pursuing what you want, and remember that suffering and grief are valuable experiences. Life isn't about avoiding pain or pursuing happiness; it's about accepting both.